Wanderer of Words and Worlds

I just have to share, because my heart is seriously melting over here.

So I was at the lake today with a small group of friends. One of said friends got tired of swimming, and she wanted to go up onto the beach to try to make a sand castle, since she never has before apparently. We didn’t have buckets or anything, but we figured, why the hell not, let’s do it anyways. So we started building this sand castle, and the menfolk eventually decided to come over and help, so it was cool. Just four 18 year old kids on the beach making a sand castle; no big deal.

So then, at some point, I look up for a second, and I see this little girl —couldn’t be more than two or three— shyly walk over and pick up some sand and put it at the edge of where two of them were trying to make a wall. My heart melts, and I ask her if she wants to help us. Her response is to plop down across from me, grab a handful of sand, and start trying to pack it together. Her mum comes over and apologizes, and I smiled and told her that it was perfectly alright, and that I had invited her to help out. So her mum get the kid to go grab us some cups from up where they’re set up at, and this little girl is just grabbing cups of water and trying to catch minnows to stick in the moat and at one point she got a squirt-gun from one of the other kids around and squirted one of my friends in the head after she saw him flick water at me, and just… nmmmm. 

I don’t know who you are, little girl, but wherever you are, thank you for brightening up my day by being such a sweet little person. I hope you can find just as much happiness as you gave me today.

kat-bou asked: 24, 15, 11, 10, 4, 3.

• 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?: …This might seem like a cop-out to some, but in all perfect honesty? I wouldn’t call anyone. Give me a moment to explain my logic on this before judging. When I care about someone, I have a personal rule that I generally follow very strictly: never leave with negative words. No matter what I’m feeling towards somebody, whether I’m frustrated or upset or angry, I always, always, try to at least tell them that I love them. I strongly believe in the phrase, “never leave angry.” While unfortunately that can be all but unavoidable sometimes, I don’t want to leave someone with words that if, god forbid, something were to happen to me, they would look back and wonder how I felt; I don’t want them to have any doubt that I love and cherish them underneath it all, no matter what else I’m feeling. I wouldn’t feel the need to call anyone, because I wouldn’t want to panic or scar them with that, and I would like to think that I’d have the confidence to know that there’s nothing left I needed to say to them, that if I died, they’d always know how I felt about them.
• 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?: Well, let me answer this first- I would be scared witless. I feel like I’ve barely lived, and that’s no way to live my life, I realize. I’d be terrified of dying, at least initially. I hope I’d be able to come to peace with it, but I’d be so scared. I don’t think I’d tell anyone, but I’m not going to lie and say it’s for any sort of noble reason. I would be afraid of them withdrawing from me emotionally, trying to prepare for it, and I couldn’t take that, so I would just not tell them. I’d try to spend as much time as possible with people I care about. I’d do everything I could to be as happy as possible as much as possible. I’d spend mornings sitting out in the sun with a cup of juice and a book. I’d get myself completely and totally lost, thousands of miles from home, just for the sake of it. I’d watch scary horror movies and stay up with the lights on and text my friends all night about how freaked out I am. I’d live completely on my whims, and I’d do whatever I wanted when I wanted. I’d be constantly telling everybody I love that I love them and not give a fuck about sounding awkward doing it. I can’t even list all the things I’d try to do, but I’d definitely seem like the most ADHD child ever. I’d be all over the place.
• 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?: Sometimes. Sometimes I’m an asshole, and sometimes I’m just dense as all hell, and I’m bad at opening up to people, and I have trouble dealing with all of those things in other people as well as myself. But I’m also kind, and I try to be very considerate of other people’s feelings and wishes, even if I mess it up sometimes. I always appreciate people like that. And I wouldn’t be able to be friends with somebody who just embodied the good traits in me, because I’d feel so worthless compared to them. So it’s a toss-up.
• 11. Does love = sex?: Oh hell no. Don’t get me wrong; sex can certainly be used as a way for two people who genuinely love each other to get closer. Aside from that, it’s fun. But you can have sex without love, and you can definitely have love without sex. And in a relationship, love should be there looooong before sex, so that there are no doubts about that.
• 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?: My ability to love. Yeah, it’s cheesy, sue me. But if something happened that caused me to stop loving people, to stop trying to love people, it would destroy me. I’m not exaggerating at all on that. I need to love and be loved in return, and I need to know that I’m loved.
  
• 24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?: I would and have indeed chosen the former in a heartbeat. I’ll learn from my previous mistakes, and in a relationship of any sort, I learn a lot about myself. There’s no such thing as a “one true love,” I think. We can and, if we’re lucky, do have “true love” multiple times throughout our lives. If I have to get my heart broken sometimes, well, it’s inevitable, so I will. I’ll fall down, and I’ll scream and cry and wonder and fuss and worry. And then it’ll get better, and I’ll find someone new to love. I’ve got a lifetime of love to give, and I’ll never stop giving it.